Step 3 of 4

Build your network

Four tools: mapping who is in your corner, understanding your life stage, how to build relationships without it feeling transactional, and what to actually do when you are in the room.

Think of this as your personal board of advisors. Not a contact list. These are people who show up for you in specific ways. Some seats are filled. Some will take time. Map what you have, then notice what is missing.

Sponsor

The advocate

Someone senior who puts your name in rooms you are not in. They advocate for your career when it counts.

Mentor

The guide

Someone who has navigated similar terrain and can help you think through decisions, transitions, and blind spots.

Peer

The honest mirror

Someone at a similar level who gives you real feedback, not just support. You can be honest with each other.

Connector

The bridge

Someone who makes introductions and opens doors. They know everyone and are generous with access.

Domain expert

The specialist

Someone with deep expertise in an area you need: finance, legal, a sector, a function. A resource you can call on.

Challenger

The contrarian

Someone who disagrees with you productively. They stop you from operating in an echo chamber.

What is missing?

Look across the six seats. Which are empty? Which relationships are weak or one-sided? What would filling each gap make possible?

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Your career stage shapes what networking you need most. This is a rough map, not a prescription. Find your stage, read what it typically asks of you, then use the reflection to figure out what actually applies to your situation.

Stage 1 · Doers
Building visibility
You are new to the working world or to a field. You are learning what good looks like. Most of your network is people in your immediate orbit.
What networking asks of you
Be present and consistent. Say yes to things. Find a mentor. Build peer relationships that will outlast this job.
Stage 2 · Achievers
Building credibility
You have a track record and are deepening your expertise or starting to manage others. People know you, but mainly inside your organisation.
What networking asks of you
Expand beyond your immediate team. Build relationships across the organisation. Start developing a reputation in one or two areas.
Stage 3 · Collaborators
Finding your edge
You work across teams and functions. You have a point of view. People look to you for direction. The question is what you want to be known for.
What networking asks of you
Build deliberately across organisations and sectors. Develop your external reputation. Invest in people below you as well as above.
Stage 4 · Builders
Building influence
You are operating at a senior level. Your network is a genuine asset. The question is whether you are managing it intentionally or just reacting to it.
What networking asks of you
Be selective. Give more than you take. Develop sponsors, not just mentors. Actively connect others.
Stage 5 · Expanders
Shaping the ecosystem
You have reach. People want access to you. The question is how you use that reach and who you bring with you.
What networking asks of you
Think about your legacy network. Connect ecosystems, not just people. Give back deliberately. Be the sponsor someone else needs.

Career stage framework: Tessa White (The Job Doctor)

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Networking feels transactional because most people only reach out when they need something. The alternative is building relationships before you need them, and making it easy for people to say yes to you.

Strong ties Weak ties Dormant
Strong tiesPeople you speak to regularly. They know your work and will actively support you.
Weak tiesAcquaintances and occasional contacts. Research shows weak ties are often the source of new opportunities.
DormantPeople you have not spoken to in a long time but the relationship still has value.

How to reach out without it feeling transactional

Most people do not reach out because they do not know what to say, or they only reach out when they want something. Neither builds a relationship. The approach below works because it is specific, low-burden, and does not require an immediate favour in return.

The three-part message

1. A genuine reason to reach out (something they said, published, or did)

2. One specific thing you want (a 20-minute call, their view on something, an introduction)

3. Make it easy to say no ("no pressure if timing is off")

Staying in contact without a reason

The easiest way to maintain a relationship is to give before you need. Share something useful. React to their work. Make an introduction. You do not need a reason to reach out.

Low-effort, high-value touchpoints

Share an article with a one-line note on why you thought of them

Congratulate on a promotion, award, or piece of work

Make an introduction without being asked

Comment meaningfully on something they published or presented

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Use this before your next industry event. Go through each section, identify one or two things you want to try, and come back with what happened.

Before you go

Research
Check who is speaking and who is attending. Identify two or three people you want to speak to. Know one thing about each of them.
Reach out beforehand
If you know someone will be there, message them in advance. "I saw you are speaking at X. I will be there and would love to catch up briefly." Much easier than a cold approach on the day.
Set a goal
One real conversation is worth more than fifteen exchanges of cards. Decide in advance: who do you want to meet and what do you want to learn?
Go with someone senior
If possible, arrive with a senior colleague who can introduce you. A warm introduction carries more weight than a cold one.

Where to stand

High-traffic zones
Near the entrance, registration desk, or drinks station. People move through these areas, so conversations start naturally.
Not the edges
Avoid standing at the perimeter or near the exit. It signals disengagement and makes you harder to approach.
Read the room
Closed circles (people turned in, shoulders together) are harder to enter. Open groups or people standing alone are easier starting points.

Starting a conversation

The handshake
Firm, palm tilted slightly upward. It signals openness rather than dominance. Match the energy of the other person.
Entering a group
Approach from the side, not the front. Make eye contact with one person, smile, and wait for a natural pause. Do not interrupt.
Approaching someone alone
Easier than it looks. A direct introduction works: "Hi, I do not think we have met. I am [name], I work in [function] at [organisation]." People standing alone at events are almost always relieved to be approached.
The opening question
Skip "What do you do?" and try something more specific: "Are you here for the panel on X?" or "Did you catch the earlier session?" Gives them something real to respond to.

Moving through the room

Bring others in
If you are talking to someone and you see another person you know, bring them into the conversation. "Have you met [name]? She works in [area], you two should talk." It shows confidence and generosity.
Depth over volume
Two real conversations are better than ten superficial ones. When you find someone interesting, don't feel rushed to move on too quickly because you feel you have to work the room. A genuine connection is worth your time, any day.
Exiting gracefully
"It was great to meet you. I am going to grab a drink and say hello to a few people, but let us stay in touch." Then follow up. Do not just drift away.

After the event

Follow up within 24 hours
A short message is enough: "Good to meet you at [event]. I enjoyed our conversation about [topic]. Worth staying in touch." The sooner the better, while you are still fresh in their mind.
Be specific
Reference something from your conversation. It shows you were paying attention, and it makes you memorable.